McGlinn & McGlinn – Attorneys at Law

The purpose of our blogs is to relate our experiences with cases we regularly see in the child protection system, juvenile courts and criminal courts. We attempt to provide guidance and information to assist you and your family into leading good, productive lives and to staying away from the juvenile and criminal courts.

If you do use a “rod”, i.e. a belt, brush, paddle, switch, or extension cord, to discipline your child, you will eventually end up having child protection workers taking your child and their siblings and the police investigating you for child abuse. How will they know? Every mandated child abuse reporter in the country such as nurses, doctors, daycare workers, teachers, counselors, YMCA workers are required to report any evidence of suspected child abuse. A mark on your child such as a bruise which indicates your child was spanked will cause that referral. I can guarantee that you will have a child protection worker within days interviewing your child/children at their school or at your home as to every phase of discipline used at home and every phase of your life at home. It is likely your child/children will be removed from their home by the child protection worker and put into a receiving home. An immediate referral will also be made to the police and they will investigate to determine if criminal charges should be filed against you.

Perhaps you attended a parenting seminar and a well-known  parenting expert told you to apply a “rod” of choice to discipline your young child–a belt, paddle, or switch–“severely” such that the event is never forgotten by the child. You may also have heard, “don’t use your hand to spank your child; that is what you love your child with.” You are further told to continue your spanking until the child is crying softly, indicating true repentance. If you have attended such a parenting seminar you know exactly what I am talking about. Doesn’t the Bible say, “Spare the rod, spoil the child.”? According to John Rosemond, author of a must-read book To Spank or Not to Spank, that phrase is not actually in the Bible. Reference to the phrase “use the rod” is found in Proverbs 13:24 (He who spares his rod, hates his son,/But he who loves him disciplines him diligently”) and Proverbs 23:13 (Do not hold back discipline from the child,/Although you beat him with the rod, he will not die”). John Rosemond explains in his book how these phrases should not be taken literally but are metaphors to be interpreted as a symbol of parental authority.

The law permits parents to use physical discipline but not “excessive punishment.” What is considered “excessive.” Social workers, child abuse doctors, and juvenile court judges will tell you leaving bruises or marks is excessive. They will say “you need to learn not to use physical discipline.” Just because you and I were disciplined this way and we believe it worked effectively, doesn’t count in the year 2013 or beyond. Most seven or eight-year olds and older know that they can report you for child abuse.

What is a parent to do when they have tried timeouts and other non-physical means of disciplining their young children and it is not working? What about the seven or eight year old who keeps getting referrals from school for misbehavior and will not change his or her ways? I recommend the following 3 things:

1. Read John K. Rosemond’s book To Spank or Not to Spank. It can be purchased on Amazon or found in most public libraries.

2. The safest thing to do and probably the best for your family is to find a therapist who specializes in Parent Child Interactive Therapy (PCIT). These therapists don’t recommend spanking. We have received very good feedback from parents who have used this type therapist. I realize in many communities you will not have therapists who specialize in PCIT therapy. Then get a therapist on board for your child. Seek their guidance in your discipline techniques. You can then tell the child protection workers and police officers that you are following their advice. Make sure it is not one of the “spare the rod, spoil the child” type therapists. Despite my being physically disciplined when I was young, my children never received any demonstrative physical discipline other than a poke from my wife when they got out of line. They are professional, well-adjusted adults and great citizens.

3. Read the advice posted on our website by Jeffrey Selzer, M.D., a pediatric specialist in San Diego, CA, on “Punishment for Wrong Behaviors.” Go to our website juvenilelawcenter.com/resources/for-parents/ and find it under Resources. I am not aware of any publication by child protection agencies or prosecution agencies outlining what is and what is not permissible physical punishment. Dr Selzer emphasizes not using a “rod”; use your hand and do not give any more than 2 swats to his/her bottom and not on the bare skin.

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You read it correctly. According to an Associated Press articles by Travis Loller, the boy’s parents gave him a .22-caliber rifle as a gift. The gun was left in a corner in the house and the parents did not realize it was loaded. The mother stepped out on the porch for a few minutes and “she heard the gun go off”. Her 2-year-old daughter is now dead–shot by her 5-year-old brother.

Keystone Sporting Arms, a Pennsylvania company, produces Crickett and Chipmunk rifles for children. They have a “Kids Corner” section on their website. The smaller rifles are in different colors to market to both boys and girls. The company’s slogan is “my first rifle.” On the website are pictures of young boys and girls with rifles. The company also markets guns for adults.

Enrique Chavez, a retired Los Angeles police officer, was paralyzed from the waist down when his 3-year old son shot him with his service revolver. He is in the process of suing Glock Inc. claiming the Glock 21 pistol lacked adequate safeguards against accidental discharge.  The 5-year-old could not have fired the rifle if an effective trigger locking mechanisms were part of the gun.   Keystone Sporting Arms reports all of their guns have safety locks, and some even have ones that require a key.  According to the AP articles, the police have not released the model of the rifle the 5-year-old used.

Should the parents be prosecuted? If you make a dangerous weapon accessible to a minor without proper parental supervision, you could be considered to be grossly negligent. I don’t care whether you live in rural Kentucky or anywhere else in this country. Does the prosecuting agency where the family lives want to make a statement to other parents that this kind of gross negligence will not go unpunished? The family lives in rural southern Kentucky. Should the fact that this terrible accident occurred in a rural area excuse the child’s death? Loller quotes the County Coroner Gary White, “Down in Kentucky where we’re from guns are passed down from generation to generation. You start at a young age with guns for hunting and everything.” The parents will need intensive therapy to deal with their guilt as to what has happened. One can only hope and pray their family can remain intact through this ordeal. Their 5-year-old son will also need intensive therapy.

We represented a 16-year-old girl whose father gave her a .22 rifle as a Christmas gift. Within two months she shoots and kills two adults, wounds 8 children and a police officer. This would not have happened without her being given access to the .22 rifle. Most of the school shootings by minors in this country would not have occurred if the minors did not have access to guns. We have represented over the years a handful of teenagers who have shot an acquaintance and killed them thinking the gun they were playing with was not loaded. See our blog GUNS–ONE OF THE LEADING CAUSES OF DEATH OF CHILDREN UNDER 18 IN THE UNITED STATES, PART 1 and PART 2.

A two-year-old is now dead through no fault of her own. This would not have happened without the 5-year-old having access to the loaded .22 rifle. You as a parent must exert strict supervision and control over the use of all guns by minors in your home. It is your parental responsibility to safeguard your children.

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The parents of Tamerlan and Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, the Boston Marathon bombers, could not believe their sons committed the horrible crimes attributed to them. Certain facts have emerged from news media reporting which we as parents should be cognizant of how these same warning signals could impact our families. Consider these five facts:

1. The older brother Tamerlan, age 26, said, “I don’t have a single American friend. I don’t understand them.”

2. The uncle of the brothers, Rusian Tsarni, called the two boys, “Losers.” He relayed that they struggled to settle in the U.S. and they ended up “thereby just hating everyone.”

3. For the past five years, Tamerlan, the older brother, was becoming a follower of radical Islamist religious groups as was his mother. His activities in Russia got the attention of Russian security personnel. The Russian authorities contacted the FBI in 2011 and asked the FBI for assistance in investigating Tamerlan. Recently he got into a heated argument with a 18-year-old neighbor and espoused how the Bible is a poor version of the Koran, that U.S. troops are killing innocent civilians in Afghanistan, and “the United States uses the Bible as an excuse for invading other countries.” He had become more confrontational about his religion. He was told anymore outbursts at his Cambridge, Mass., mosque and he would be “out.”

4. Tamerlan’s application for U.S. citizenship was on hold. He was not chosen for the U.S. Olympic boxing team because he was not a citizen. He was married with a young child, but reportedly had no job. He was a community college dropout and was a disappointment to his parents especially his father. His younger brother, Dzhokhar, was considered by his parents to be a “true angel” and the smartest of the two brothers.

5. The younger brother, Dzhokhar, was failing his classes at the University of Massachusetts. He had been a very good student in a prestigious high school, was well liked by his classmates, was captain of his high school wrestling team, and was liked by an attractive co-ed. His residential adviser in his dorm reported “he talked about his brother in good terms.”

I recently attended a seminar on violence. Experts set forth that people resort to violence when they feel that they can wipe out shame only by shaming those who they feel shamed them. The most powerful way to shame anyone is by means of violence. The boys uncle is correct. The boys would be considered “losers.” They hate everyone and want to engage in violence.

What can we as parents learn from this experience.

1. Don’t let your son/daughter associate with older classmates/acquaintances. We see on a regular basis how a younger student is manipulated by older friends into doing their dirty work or fighting their battles. A young minor should not be spending time alone with an eleven or twelve-year-old. An 8th grader should not be associating with high school kids. Likewise, a freshman should not be associating with 10th grade or older high school kids. The maturity level is significantly different and it is much harder for the younger minor to say “No.”

2. If an older sibling is a “loser” and into very questionable behavior, a younger sibling should be told to stay away and not associate with them. Suppose an older sibling is a drug addict. Would you want the younger sibling/s to be hanging around with them? I don’t think so.

3. Be a parent. Parenting doesn’t stop at age 18. Don’t enable an older sibling who is on a self-destructive path to involve others. Banish them from the family until they are willing to stop their harmful ways. Warn other siblings to stay away from the older sibling. From what we know of the two brothers, the younger brother had a chance to lead a productive life if he had been kept away from the older brother’s jihad philosophy and his conspiracy to “shame” the United States.

What role the boys’ mother played in their turn toward radical Islamic beliefs is still not fully known. There is no question she became very strict about Islam and how she should dress upon Tamerlan’s urgings. Her marriage broke up about two years ago reportedly in part due to her fundamentalist Islamic beliefs and actions. The mother is wanted for stealing dresses from a department store and is subject to being prosecuted if she returned to the United States. Parents have no conception how their views can incite their children towards violence. The parents may be able to control their behavior, but their children may not be able to with devastating results.

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A ten and eleven-year-old boys are in custody in the State of Washington charged with conspiracy to commit murder of a fellow eleven-year-old female classmate. The two allegedly planned to kill the girl “because she was really annoying.” The ten-year-old had a functioning .45 caliber Remington 1911 semi-automatic handgun, ammo clip and a knife in his backpack at school. He said he took the gun from his older brother’s room. His brother had taken it a few months prior from his deceased grandfather’s home. The eleven-year-old companion was going to stab the girl with the knife.

We have attempted in a series of blogs to warn parents of the absolute need to put all guns in their homes under lock and key and only the parents have access to them.  I can guarantee you this story and far worse will be replayed and replayed ad nauseum if parents don’t do this.

These terrible offenses by minors would not take place if they did not have access to guns and other weapons that can kill. Parents blindly believe their minor(s) are not capable of doing such horrific acts. I would venture to say that every part of this country has heard these terrible stories of minors using guns to kill.

By allowing your minor(s) access to weapons YOU are putting them at risk for potential lifetime incarceration, life threatening injuries to themselves, their friends and others.
Educate your minor(s) to never threaten to kill or do seriously bodily harm to others.

Don’t fool yourself that minors are not capable of committing atrocious and horrifying offenses. Here are a couple of real cases where young minors committed terrible offenses without the use of guns. Two 10-year-old boys in England were convicted of abducting and killing a 2-year-old boy whose mother had left him at the front door of a butcher shop while she quickly purchased some items. The boys punched, kicked, picked up and dropped the little boy on his head. They sexually assaulted him, flung paint in his left eye, threw stones at him, beat him with bricks, and hit him with an iron bar. I recall one of the boys took out the dead boys’ eyeballs. When asked why, one of the boys reported “so he could not identify me.” The dead boy was left on a train track. Mary was 11 at the time of her conviction. She strangled to death a
3-year-old boy. The boys hair was cut away, puncture marks were found on his thighs, and his genitals were partially skinned. She imprinted the letter “M” on his stomach.

I have some serious questions whether a number of the minors that commit these serious offenses truly understand the gravity of what they are doing and the fact they are taking human lives. The enormity of what they have done does not impact them until after the fact. They are usually in shock for quite some time afterwards. The odds are your well-behaved minor will not do something terrible. Why take a chance that they or one of their friends will not do something crazy with a gun or other deadly weapon that has not been securely locked up.

Email us and tell us your comments. If you would like us to do a blog on a particular subject, please let us know. Share experiences you may have had that could be helpful to others. Visit our educational videos on You Tube at JuvenileLawCenter.com or McGlinn & McGlinn, Attorneys at Law.

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The recent issue of Military Press dated April 1, 2013, has on the front cover the title “Guns in America” showing a gun on an American flag and three hollow point bullets. The Military Press is a free publication. They advertise that they serve active and retired military, DOD workers and civilians. There are several feature articles–”Gun control debate rages on” and “Hey Uncle Sam, why the bulk ammo buy?” In very small print below the latter title it states, “This is from a conspiracy-theorist’s blog.” Following that article is another article with a picture and caption “Retired captain pens letter of concern.” The letter was also posted on Facebook and was sent to a Senator from Texas. It warns that the Department of Homeland Security is preparing to go to war with the citizens of the United States. The captain states in his letter “there can be no doubt that Barack Hussein Obama is preparing for the bloodiest war in America history and it’s going to take place here on American soil. When? It has to be prior to the 2016 election, unless he manages to force a constitutional amendment allowing himself to run for a third term.”

When I read these articles it reminded me of the time I was present in a football stadium at the University of California Santa Barbara in 1970. Attorney William Kunstler delivered a speech to the students railing against the United States Government. There was a lot of student unrest at the time for many reasons. I left the stadium saying to myself that his speech will incite the students to riot. Sure enough what followed thereafter were students rioting in Isla Vista, a community located beside the campus and where a lot of students resided and shopped. Places were burned and a lot of damage done.

Young minds are very impressionable. My point is that parents should not assume your minor is not capable of doing something horrendous. The number of teenagers killing in our schools should convince you of that by now. If you allow minors access to guns or deadly weapons, it is likely they do not have the same maturity to control their behavior as more mature adults. A minor threatening to kill someone, shoot up a school, or do serious harm to others will cause fear to many. If there is a cache of weapons in the home, the concern goes up dramatically even if reportedly under lock and key. Tell your minors to never threaten to do serious bodily harm to others. Regularly review their texts, Facebook, and Instagram messages. Examine any computer they are using as to the sites they are visiting and emails they are sending.

I would like to believe that those who espouse warnings of our government going to war against its citizens can control their behavior; but can we have the same confidence that other men, women and teenagers hearing and reading this type conspiracy-theorist rhetoric will not be incited to violence.

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