Experts report a growing number of parents are experiencing violence at the hands of their children. Kids as young as 10 are bullying their parents, usually their mothers, if they do not get something they want. They will spit, hit and throw things. They know it is wrong. Taking away their smart phone is like taking away their most prized possession.
Why do kids do it? They usually do it to try to control the people around them. Quite often if there is violence or abusive behavior in the home, they take their cue from it. Parental authority has become eroded.
Parents need to take a strong stance against such behavior. Parents need to be parents. They need to exercise their parental authority and lead their kids to become good, law-abiding, and productive citizens. As soon as your kids take control and ignore your parental authority, their behavior will become worse leading to many more problems at home, at school, and when they enter adulthood. The consequences incrementally become more severe as they get older.
You have tried to tell them not to be abusive. You have tried to get them into therapy. It has not worked. What can you do? My first suggestion is to contact an attorney in your area experienced with juvenile delinquency law and have then consult with you and your minor about your minor’s conduct. In such a conference, the attorney can let the minor know if the abusive behavior continues their parent will call the police, insist they be arrested, and taken to Juvenile Hall. They will be prosecuted. Judges take a very dim view of minors who are abusive to their parents. The chances of spending a few weeks in Juvenile Hall pending a psychological evaluation are good. They will face prosecution, made wards of the court, mandated to be in therapy, and be on probation for at least a year with a probation officer assigned to make sure they are doing well at school and home. In most cases the minor’s behavior will dramatically improve. Your minor will also be told to participate in therapy for themselves and in family therapy. If you do not know which attorney to call, contact your local Bar Association Referral Service and get a referral to an attorney. In this conference, your minor would be told that their parent is directed that, should the minor become abusive again to one of their parents, the police will be called and a request made to have the minor arrested, put in custody, and prosecuted. If you do not want to contact a lawyer, tell the minor the next time they are abusive you will call the police and have them arrested.
The natural concern of a parent is if the police are contacted, the minor will have a police record and will have to go to Juvenile Court. If your minor continues to get away with being abusive to their parent/s, their conduct will get worse and worse. They will not only abuse you but will likely abuse others. The chances are the first time around the police, prosecutor and judge will give your minor a break and lessen the severity of the charges and potential consequences. If your minor successfully completes probation, their charges will be dismissed and their record sealed. The alternative is more serious charges as the conduct escalates both in degree and time.